Ok so I pretty much haven’t posted in about 5 months.Â I’m sorry.Â I’ve thought about it several times.Â But always thought perhaps my ex would stumble upon it.Â He seemed to be having such a hard time, so I didn’t want to make things harder on him.Â Heck, I worried about his feelings more than my own.Â But this was something I was used to since the start of our relationship.Â Anyhoo, now I am back.Â I realized that I had to stop blaming myself for wanting to be happy.Â It just wasn’t going to happen there.Â I TRIED to make it work for over 3 years, and I just couldn’t.Â Everyone deserves to be happy right?
Just for all of you who don’t already know, I no longer live in MO.Â I now live in CO, in my moms basement no less.Â BUT hey, I’m happy Â I can’t tell you how nice it is to be around family.Â I have missed them so much!Â I’ve always been super close to my family.Â I get to see family all the time here.Â My cousin Holly moved with me.Â She left a bad relationship, so we started over together.Â This last week she came to stay with me while I watched my sisters pup.Â Sis and kids went off to Cali for the week.Â Someday I will go there!
But yeah, Holly and I had a great time.Â I’ve got cousins out here too that I get to see from time to time.Â It’s just so nice having a TRUE support system. Â Cool stuff!Â I’ve been going to the gym since I got here and have lost ALMOST 60lbs Â I am so happy about it!Â My cousin Holly and I did a 5k last Sat.Â That was a lot of fun.Â Mon I am going to do the famous BolderBoulder!Â It’s a 10k, and I haven’t done it for 6 years now.Â I am just going to walk it, but if I get it done I will be so happy.Â I can’t believe how far I have come since I moved out here, especially with the foot injury.
It’s really nice to have my freedom to be able to go where I want and do what I want and not have to check in.Â If I wanna be at the gym an extra hour, done!Â If I wanna go in to work early, done!Â If I need to stay late, done!Â I forgot how much I missed that.Â I like being able to go out with friends and not have any drama involved.Â I got back in to counseling and I am actually learning a lot about the last 3 years.Â It’s good to know I am not crazy or that my feelings aren’t anyway.
I’m really trying to get things back spiritually.Â I’ve been meeting with the Bishop and things are heading in the right direction.Â I seriously LOVE the Gospel.Â I am so thankful for the atonement and the power of repentance.Â I’ve made goals to keep me on track and now I have nothing holding me back!Â I love reading the scriptures, sometimes it feels like things were meant just for me.
I guess I better stop writing now.Â There will be plenty more days for that.Â I DON”T FEEL GUILTY ANYMORE!Â Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive during this crazy time.Â I love you all!